Nothing For Me Here
by Something Greater
Summary: A year after the war, Ginny mourns the loss of her lover and realizes that there is only one way to escape her pain. Oneshot. GinnyHarry


Sobs racked Ginny's body as she collapsed on the ground, shoulders shaking heavily. She gripped the earth beneath her in her hands and let it sift through her fingers.

_One year, one year today, _she thought miserably. It had been exactly one year ago that the war had ended, Voldemort had been defeated, and... she drew in a sharp breath as the horrible memories came back to her...the loss of her lover, the savior of the wizarding world, Harry Potter.

The awful events that had occured that day still haunted her dreams frequently. The blinding flash of green light as Harry and the Dark Lord's spells collided and later exploded. Ginny had been watching silently from behind a scorched tree when the explosion spanned out, knocking out almost everyone in its path. When the dust settled and the light disappeared, Voldemort lay still and Harry was unconscious. Ginny had rushed over and held him, stroking his hair lightly until he stopped breathing and the light left his green eyes. It was then that she knew:

Harry was dead.

He had passed away in the very spot where the youngest Weasley was now kneeling. Visiting this spot had brought back a flood of awful memories, some of the worst being the twelve long months following his death. She had stayed depressed, angry, and moody during the school year (McGonagall had made a feeble attempt to reopen Hogwarts, which lasted for a only few months before it was finally closed). Ginny had lost most of her friends, becoming somewhat a loner. It was not enjoyable in the least, but she couldn't bring herself to get over the previous summer's events.

Black eyeliner, eyeshadow, and lipstick were something she regularly donned, as well as soot colored clothes and dark leggings. The only thing that remained of her old life was her flaming red hair, although it was streaked with black highlights. Something told her that Harry would not have wanted her to entirely rid herself of the distinguishing Weasley trait, although it completely clashed with her mood- it was bright and cheery, while she felt dark and sullen.

Touching her hair gently with her forefinger, Ginny recalled how Harry had often brushed it out of her face, telling her that it covered her eyes too much.

Ginny had simply grinned and blushed, as always, and retorted that he was none to talk. Later, she mentally kicked herself for acting like a lovesick schoolgirl.

Which, in retrospect, she supposed she was.

Before the battle that had destoyed her life and the life of many others around her, Ginny Weasley had been foolish. She did not understand just how bad everything was and how lucky she was to be alive. Instead of cherishing every day that she woke up breathing, she pined after a black-haired, green-eyed boy. Hours that could've been used to stop Voldemort from killing anyone else and gaining more power were spent snogging in the Gryffindor common room.

And then came the Break Up.

It was for her own good, Harry had told her. She had said that she agreed, but she was torn up inside, wondering what the _real _reasons were. Perhaps she wasn't a good kisser. Maybe she was ugly, or suffered from Halitosis, or had a major facial blemish. Looking back, these worries were stupid, but then she knew no better.

Now she did.

But now Harry was gone, and she was lost.

She had attempted to live out the rest of her life as Harry would have wanted, but it was getting too difficut...too hard to go on without him there. No more whispers, no more quick kisses, no more walks on the school grounds or doing homework together. God! Why was nothing easy, plain, and simple!

_Things were never easy for Harry, but _he_ never gave up, _a guilty voice in the back of her head told her.

_I'm not Harry! _Ginny answered back.

_But he is in you, now. He lost his parents, his godfather, and his headmaster, but did he ever quit? _That damned voice was rattling around in her thoughts.

"I've had enough!" Ginny roared, causing several nearby birds to flutter away. "Enough of this damned life! No one understands or cares about me! I've lost the man I love and everything has been going downhill ever since! Give me one good reason why I should stay! There is nothing for me here!"

_Do it for Harry._

"I will join Harry in death!" She exclaimed and a slow smile spread across her face, her first since the war ended. She removed her wand from her robes and gripped it in her right hand. Breathing deeply, she said a silent spell and drew the wooden object across the underside of both of her wrists. A thin red gash formed on either one and split open, spilling her blood onto the ground. After a few seconds, she was feeling lightheaded and collapsed down on the grass. Within moments, she would bleed herself to death.

_There is nothing for me here, _she thought as she left her earthly body behind and made her way towards the heavens.

_There is nothing for me here._


End file.
